When I found out I was pregnant for the third time, I wanted a natural birth like my second, but I wasn’t sure if I needed to be in a hospital for it. My last hospital birth was so hands-off that it felt like I was paying a lot for little intervention. Sure, a hospital could be handy if complications arose, so I decided to dig into my options.
I went a bit overboard, checking out 43 books from the library about natural births and reading them all in a month. The options ranged from highly medicated births to unassisted home births. Neither felt right for me, so I still had to think about what kind of birth I wanted.
Around this time, we switched to high-deductible insurance that didn’t cover maternity, and though pre-paying for hospital delivery was an option, I wasn’t sure it was what I wanted. This led me to explore local midwives, and to my surprise, there were quite a few home birth midwives in reach. I really enjoyed having a midwife last time, but there were parts of the hospital experience I didn’t like—mainly the food, the bed, the restrictions. It always felt like I was on the defensive.
A home birth seemed to have benefits. No stressful trip to the hospital, no leaving the other kids, sleeping in my bed, eating my food, and moving around as I pleased. Most importantly, I liked the idea of being in charge of my birth experience.
After careful consideration, I chose home birth and began looking for a midwife. We were moving, selling a house, and dealing with a career change, so rather than interviewing all the midwives, I made a spreadsheet to narrow it down. Eventually, I settled on a midwife based on cost, but she wasn’t available in December, which led me to my second choice, referred by her.
This midwife, whom I’ll call Dr. Homebirth, called while we were mid-move. After some breathless back-and-forth explaining, we scheduled a home visit. I tidied the house, and she immediately impressed me by recognizing a religious painting in our home. We connected over shared faith, and our conversation turned quick and friendly.
Her approach—assisting my birth, rather than controlling it—made it clear she was the right choice. After a day of thinking, I confirmed that I wanted her to attend our home birth, and we planned an ultrasound to check the due date, which coincidentally fell on an important feast day for our family.
Despite the busyness of life with two kids, I managed to read up more about home birth, finding this pregnancy the healthiest yet. I focused on nutrition and exercise while attending monthly appointments at her home. At around 30 weeks, she noticed my baby was breech, which can complicate delivery. But she was reassuring, saying it was common at that point and usually resolved itself. I, being proactive, took up exercises to help turn the baby, and indeed, felt a change in the middle of the night soon after.
Confirmation at the next appointment that the baby had flipped was a relief. We continued preparing, even renting a water birth tub. I was excited and confident about the home birth plan, anticipating the comfort of being at home with our new baby.
Suddenly, at 35 weeks, things changed. A restless day ended with my water unexpectedly breaking, coupled with a lot of blood. Alarmed and scared, my husband and I rushed to the hospital. The situation was serious, and the doctor confirmed it was placenta previa, which meant a natural birth was impossible. We decided to have a c-section soon after.
The surgery itself was a rollercoaster, but our son, Tre, was born safely, even if he had to spend time in the NICU. Holding him for the first time was an overwhelming joy, despite the challenges and fears of those first days. Pumping milk and staying strong, I was eventually able to bring him home.
In hindsight, while the birth didn’t go as planned, I’m grateful for our safety and newfound respect for medical professionals. The experience, though not what I envisioned, was filled with valuable lessons and gratitude.
