A couple of years ago on Mother’s Day, I talked about making peace in the mommy wars and empowering ourselves as moms and women. I’ve noticed that in recent years, the tension between working moms and stay-at-home moms has eased up a bit. It’s like we’ve all started realizing that both roles require hard work. All moms juggle different tasks, whether it’s at a job outside or managing a busy household. Those who work outside also leave a piece of their heart at home, constantly divided in focus.
Even with this shift, the stress hasn’t lessened. Every mom I know faces more than she can handle, constantly searching for ways to simplify and make life more manageable. This situation raises questions for me: Is this the new normal? Or is something about motherhood today unbalanced?
While flowers, cards, and a bit of downtime are appreciated, what do moms truly need at a deeper level? Recognizing how motherhood has evolved over the generations is crucial. We’ve largely moved past the need for titles like “working mom” or “stay-at-home mom,” but the guilt often remains. I still deal with it—feeling guilty for working and not spending time with family, or for being with family and thinking about work tasks.
This era allows us to have it all: careers, families, friendships. But there’s immense pressure to manage everything seamlessly. Moms today are working more hours and spending more time with their kids, yet they’re sleeping less and feeling more stressed. One big change over the years is the lack of support. Although this varies based on our situation and location, in general, we’re trying to do much more with much less.
Supporting each other is what we truly need right now. Instead of focusing on differences—like childcare choices or dietary beliefs—we should focus on what we agree on: our deep love for our families and wanting the best for them. We all have moments when we feel like we’re failing, despite motherhood being incredibly fulfilling yet exhausting.
No matter our situation—single, stay-at-home, or working—we share common experiences. We sometimes cling to our choices as a way to prove our rightness, piling on mom guilt. I propose we challenge this by embracing discussions on our disagreements and learning from them.
Recently, I’ve seen where friends interpreted disagreement as shaming, but differing opinions aren’t attacks. We need more examples of maintaining love and respect despite differing views.
Moms are powerful, influencing the next generation and shaping markets with our choices. Let’s set an example of understanding, even when we don’t see eye to eye. Moms are amazing, managing countless tasks and caring deeply about them.
Why don’t we feel as amazing as we are? How can we eliminate “mom guilt”? I don’t have all the answers, but I believe the solution might lie in ourselves. We need to address the support from family, workplace, and culture. Everyone has a role in balancing these demands, yet we haven’t figured it out entirely.
For now, let’s focus on what we can do for each other. While navigating this modern motherhood journey, let’s have each other’s backs. Moms face opinions constantly, amplified by social media and endless debates on parenting topics. Strong opinions can be important, but it’s crucial to consider the possibility of being wrong and learning from others.
Let’s discuss difficult topics respectfully and not take opposing views personally. We need the strength to accept different perspectives without feeling judged. Avoid watering down conversations; instead, engage in meaningful dialogues with kindness and respect.
Love, kindness, and respect should be given freely to everyone. In a divided world, let’s approach others saying, “I love and respect you,” even when we disagree. We can model this for our kids, fostering habits that may take effort but are worthwhile.
All moms share the vocation of motherhood, but we’re a diverse group. Our differences stand out, yet we all worry about our kids, health, families, and careers. Despite often hidden, unacknowledged work, we can admire other moms’ strengths and should share our appreciation vocally.
I’ve started setting a daily reminder to make a point of giving positive feedback. This practice helps me recognize goodness in others and speak kindly to everyone around me. As moms, receiving advice to lean in, enjoy every moment, and live intentionally is common. But more than anything, we need meaningful community.
Building intentional communities, whether through close-knit neighborhoods or regular meet-ups, is vital. We need to carve out time for connection, not worry about having a perfect home or snacks. It’s worth the effort to get rid of the “busy” label and foster genuine connections.
If mommy wars are ending, let’s rebuild. Let’s aim to replace mom guilt with affirmation and support. Be open to different opinions and gain new skills. Resist feeling threatened by another mom’s success and examine why. Welcome others into our lives, despite the imperfections.
Moms shape future generations and can impact the experience for future moms trying to do it all. Vulnerability is our superpower, a valuable gift to offer each other and our daughters.
What do you think moms need most? I’d love to continue this conversation!
