I have something to admit, and it makes me feel like I’m not the best mom. Nursing my babies was never something I enjoyed—in fact, it often drove me up the wall. I do feel guilty about that.
That being said, I did breastfeed all my kids until they were about 18 months old, and I would never have skipped it unless there was a medical reason. I’m incredibly thankful I could nurse them, but honestly, it wasn’t something I enjoyed.
I love all the good things that come with breastfeeding, like better brain development for the baby and the special bond it creates, not to mention the money you save. But the constant sitting down to nurse several times a day made me feel restless.
At the same time, I’ve watched many of my friends struggle with the heartache of being unable to nurse when they wanted to. I’ve been there for them, offering comfort through their tears and even shared milk with their preemies who needed it.
Motherhood is tough, and breastfeeding can be a particularly sensitive and divisive topic for many moms. I’m not here to debate it or judge any mom’s choice. Instead, I want to share some practical alternatives for those who either can’t or choose not to nurse their babies.
Doctors generally agree that breastfeeding is the best option for babies whenever possible. Unfortunately, it’s not always doable. As a doula, I’ve seen moms who chose not to nurse, those who wanted to but couldn’t due to physical issues, and even babies who just couldn’t nurse for various reasons.
When breastfeeding really can’t happen, there are other choices. Back in the day, wet nurses or milk donors helped out until the baby could eat solid food. Eventually, formulas were developed, and now, it’s a big industry.
The issue with most commercial formulas, even organic ones, is that they’re packed with ingredients you probably wouldn’t want to cook with yourself—things like corn syrup solids and unhealthy oils. Despite this, many rely on these formulas as the only source of nutrition for their little ones during crucial developmental stages.
If I were unable to breastfeed, I’d go for a homemade organic baby formula. At first, making your own formula might sound crazy because it seems like a complex mixture you could never make on your own. But, like DIY toothpaste or deodorant, it’s not as daunting as it seems.
The Weston A. Price Foundation offers recipes for homemade formulas, including dairy and dairy-free options. Unlike commercial formulas, these homemade versions start with milk or broth and are enriched with real, nutrient-dense food ingredients like gelatin, probiotics, and beneficial oils.
There’s a nutritional comparison chart between breast milk and homemade formulas. While some aspects like beneficial bacteria and bonding from breastfeeding aren’t reflected in the chart, it does show that homemade formula is nutritionally comparable to breast milk.
I have friends who’ve used these homemade options successfully, including both the raw milk and dairy-free versions. These are the alternatives I’d consider if I couldn’t nurse or find donor milk. All the non-perishable ingredients you need are easy to find.
For babies allergic to dairy, the Weston A. Price Foundation suggests alterations. Although breast milk is best, if that’s just not an option, homemade formulas are worth considering. Of course, consulting a knowledgeable doctor is essential before using any alternative option for your baby.
If breastfeeding is possible, it’s the best choice. Good lactation consultants can tackle most nursing challenges. Breastfeeding difficulties can often be traced to tongue or lip ties, which need professional attention (there’s a guide for identifying them).
If nursing and donor milk aren’t available, homemade baby formula could be a better alternative to processed store-bought options, ensuring babies get necessary nutrients. It’s not my top choice, but if breastfeeding was off the table for me, this is what I’d choose.
How about you? Were you able to nurse, or did you need to look for other options? Feel free to share your story!
