Being a mom is seriously tough work! I adore my kids, but that doesn’t make the 24/7 care any easier. Moms are always needed, but you can’t keep giving if you’re feeling drained.
I’ve realized there’s always another meal to prepare, a homeschool project to assist with, or laundry to tackle. Eventually, I stopped hoping for someone to notice my need for a break and just took one. Since implementing regular mom’s nights out, everything’s improved for the better.
Just to be clear, I’m not talking about a quick trip to the grocery store! We need balance between work and play. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy my family time, but before marriage and kids, I had hobbies, passions, and dreams. Moms shouldn’t have to give those up.
It took some time, but I learned that taking time for myself to recharge is essential. (Usually, I don’t refer to myself in the third person, but it’s nice to remember I have a name other than “Mom”!)
According to a 2017 survey by Welch’s, moms have some seriously long days. Of 2,000 American moms with kids aged 5 to 12, it was found that:
Think about it—there are only 168 hours in a week. That leaves just 9.7 hours a day for sleep, meals, personal care, and mental breaks. Not ideal at all!
I wouldn’t trade my family or job for anything, but it’s nice to see moms getting credit for all their hard work, even if they work at home or elsewhere.
I love relaxing at home in yoga pants and watching Netflix with my husband. However, a regular self-care night at home is a great idea. My favorites include a soothing detox bath with a glass of wine or some time in the sauna.
That said, leaving the house lets me leave my to-do list behind. Plus, there’s a healthy bonus to going out—friendship. I’ll be exploring this more soon, but building friendships with like-minded women is crucial for well-being.
If you haven’t had a girls’ night out in ages, here are five reasons it should top your to-do list. Unsurprisingly, they all relate to health. Women crave social time—not just for fun but as a way to cope with stress. Studies show women’s friendships significantly boost oxytocin levels, the hormone that rises after childbirth and during breastfeeding.
Oxytocin has so many benefits: it eases pain, lowers blood pressure, boosts optimism, and aids digestion. It also calms our fight-or-flight response, reducing stress. Research even shows strong friendships can cut mortality risk by 50%, greater than quitting smoking and twice as much as staying active!
So ditch the guilt and spend time with your friends and community! All moms need support as they navigate motherhood. Like any job, there’s a learning curve, and learning from others makes it so much easier.
Throughout history, women have shared knowledge and wisdom. Sadly, our “village” seems to be shrinking these days. Many women start families far from their “tribe,” but modern moms can create their own communities.
As a doula, I’ve seen how much support matters. Twenty percent of new moms face postpartum depression or anxiety. It’s crucial we build strong, supportive communities.
Think of your emotional health like a bank account. You can only give what you have. Having time away from demands helps replenish your reserves, whether it’s something new or rewarding.
Sometimes “Moms’ Night Out” should just be “Mom’s Night Out”—just you. Personal space barely exists with a house full of little ones. If the only privacy comes in the bathroom, it’s time for a new tradition.
One of my favorite mom books suggests setting aside time once or twice a month for Mom’s Day Out. Schedule it like any other important activity and ask someone to keep you committed. Once it becomes a habit, you’ll wonder how you managed without it.
Being a mom is a dream come true, but there’s more to me than just that. Sometimes it’s hard to remember who we are beyond being a parent. What do we love? What are our dreams?
Moms often get lost in the bustle of family life and work. Taking a step back to be yourself (not just “Mom”) is crucial.
If you don’t have a friend circle yet, you’re not alone. It took me years to find the right friendships, and life with little kids makes it tough. But they won’t always be little. You can do it!
Here are some tips for kickstarting a ladies’ night out:
Dinner is a classic choice, but it’s not always my first pick. Here are a few other ideas we’ve tried and some we’re planning to try!
Sometimes, getting out isn’t feasible. You can invite community into your home instead, benefiting from friendship in smaller doses.
Of course, this might mean embracing imperfection and inviting others into your real-life mess. But chances are, you’ll be glad you did.
Your turn! Do you have a regular Moms’ Night Out? Is it time to start one? Share your best ideas with us!
