As I sit here with my sweet baby girl asleep on my chest, taking in that amazing new baby smell, I feel incredibly grateful for her arrival and the unique way her birth unfolded.
Having gone through various birth experiences before, including c-sections and VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean), I’ve always been thankful for these experiences, especially as a doula. They helped me better relate to my clients. This time, I was hoping for a straightforward delivery, but it seems our little one had different plans in mind.
We discovered we were expecting our fifth child over the summer. It was a surprise but definitely a welcome one. Since my last pregnancy resulted in a successful VBAC, I hoped for a smooth and uncomplicated delivery this time as well. I chose to work with the same group of nurse midwives who had delivered our last baby, given their experience with VBACs and hospital deliveries.
Overall, this pregnancy was the easiest by far. I sidestepped morning sickness altogether for the first time and didn’t even experience the usual first trimester fatigue. It was so smooth that I was eager to hear the baby’s heartbeat at my first appointment just to confirm I was indeed pregnant! All my early appointments showed that both the baby and I were healthy. With a bustling household and four other little ones to keep up with, those months flew by, and before I knew it, I was 34 weeks along.
At my 34-week appointment, the midwife mentioned the baby might be breech, although there was still time for her to turn around. I suspected she was breech since about 32 weeks, so I began trying various techniques to encourage her to turn. I followed the spinning babies protocol, saw a chiropractor for the Webster technique, did handstands in water, swam, and even placed ice on my belly while playing music to coax the baby to move.
Every day from 34 weeks onward, I diligently tried all these suggested methods for turning a breech baby. A 35-week ultrasound confirmed the baby was still breech, but there wasn’t any clear reason like the umbilical cord being wrapped around the neck or a short cord.
Although I hoped she would turn, I started to get anxious. The midwives couldn’t deliver a breech baby at the hospital, and the alternatives were attempting an External Cephalic Version (ECV) or a c-section. An ECV would have to be done in the operating room with an epidural due to the VBAC history, and it involved risks like uterine rupture or fetal distress.
I researched my options, realizing none were without risk and that any decision carried more risk than a vertex delivery. In many countries, vaginal breech births are still common, and when abnormalities are excluded, they can carry similar risks to cesarean breech births. Given my past c-section for placenta previa, a repeat c-section carried additional risks without statistically reducing her risk.
After discussing with my husband, we weren’t comfortable with either an ECV or a repeat c-section unless they were absolutely necessary, and we didn’t feel they were at that point. Since vaginal breech birth wasn’t possible in the hospital due to insurance and legal policies, not medical reasons, we explored other options. I’d met a home birth midwife earlier in my pregnancy and learned she was trained in breech births with successful outcomes. Although I worried about the risks since I’d previously experienced undetected placenta previa, I wanted to consider this option.
Meeting with the midwife again, and talking to my husband, gave me peace about pursuing this path. I continued efforts to get the baby to turn and kept regular appointments with hospital midwives as a backup plan for a c-section.
Despite my natural tendency to control outcomes, the weeks leading up to the birth tested me mentally. I had to let go and trust in the process. With a primary plan for vaginal delivery and backup plans ready, I eventually found peace.
In those final weeks, I experienced a lot of false labor. Looking back, I think I might have stopped labor from progressing a few times due to nerves. But finally, at just over 39 weeks, I experienced on-and-off contractions throughout the day that were different. Not exactly painful, but they were intense enough to demand my attention.
My husband and I decided to go out for dinner that evening, knowing it might be our last opportunity for a while. As we dined, my contractions were about six minutes apart, intensifying as we drove home. We watched a movie, and I noticed increasing nausea and discomfort.
Around 11 p.m., we tried to sleep, but the contractions picked up. I texted the midwife to give her a heads-up. When I couldn’t sleep due to the growing intensity and frequency of the contractions, I called her at 2 a.m.
The midwife and the nurse arrived around 5:30 a.m. and set up the birth tub. A little later, I felt a pop – my water had broken. Although I was only 4 cm dilated, I knew things could progress quickly from here, so I got into the tub to help move the baby down.
After an hour, I found the tub restrictive, so I decided to walk, sway, and sit on a birth ball. Contractions hit every 4-6 minutes. By 11 a.m., the midwife checked again, noting that while I was still 4-5 cm, due to the baby’s position, I could stretch to 6-7 cm if she descended more. She suggested lying on my back with my hips elevated to help the process. Contractions instantly became more intense.
After about 45 minutes, she checked me again. I was 7-8 cm and getting deeply focused. The midwife encouraged me to get into the shower, where I labored through deep, moaning contractions. Despite the logical side of my brain trying to encourage me, I reached the “I can’t do this” point.
I struggled with the idea of continuing or heading to the hospital. Thankfully, my husband was there, coaching me through each contraction, reminding me to breathe and relax.
Upon leaving the shower, the midwife checked me and reported I was still at 8 cm. Discouraged, I contemplated giving up but realized it wouldn’t make sense and that a hospital transfer wouldn’t be good for either of us.
The midwife suggested sitting on the toilet – the “dilation station” in doula terms. I didn’t want to, knowing it would increase intensity, but with encouragement, I made it there. Once I relaxed, one powerful contraction fully dilated me, and the baby moved down further.
Shortly after, in a somewhat surprising realization, I knew this was it. Baby’s heart rate was perfect, so I was cleared to push. Despite the back labor and an internal debate, the urge won out. In one big push, I felt the “ring of fire,” and her bottom emerged. A final push and she came fully into the world.
Those wonderful cries filled the room instantly, and I was overcome with gratitude, repeating thanks over and over. Baby Ella arrived healthy, weighing 6 lbs 8 ounces with dark hair. In those moments, any doubts or fears I’d harbored seemed to melt away.
Post-birth was a markedly different experience. I held her for an hour, and she nursed on her own shortly after birth. The cord wasn’t rushed, and soon, I was in my own clothes, nursing in my bed, feeling at peace. This recovery was the easiest, and Ella turned out to be my calmest baby.
While I appreciate the necessity of medical interventions when needed – as they’ve saved my life before – I don’t think all births require them. If given the chance, I’d choose home birth again, though I hope the medical climate shifts to allow more options for breech births in hospitals. Not every birth situation or person suits home birth, but I’m grateful I explored it for this experience.
I will always be thankful to our wonderful midwife and my husband for their unwavering support. This birth was a truly healing experience for me.
